DRUNKEN MIND

When in doubt, look inwards

What does tomorrow have in store for me? Does it hold the promises of a rosy, fun-filled future replete with abundant riches, bright sunlight and above all love, care and understanding of my loved ones? Will it be smooth sailing for me or will the ride be bumpy and uncomfortable?

 

Does the future portend a rough ride for me? Is it going to be a mixed bag with periods of happiness interspersed with the vagaries of this uncertain, unpredictable and unpleasant world?

 

What was my past like, the history as it unfolded and went past me with all the joys and sorrows that make life what it is? I am deep in thought while the familiar slideshow keeps playing at the back of my mind; I can see it through a child’s eye, the eye of a novelist, drunken eyes, and a sober eye; each eye shows me a specific scene, we see differently with each eye.

 

The secret recipe for survival is to face it head on, staying focused and open minded even though sometimes, the truth is too hard to accept, also pretty hard to digest; resentments are incorrigible and they harbor deep-rooted grudges and they are so vindictive that they can keep chasing us for life.

 

It is often seen that we nurture and harbor some misplaced ideas and beliefs that we were brought up with; we conserve and preserve such ideas An idea we were brought up with deeply programmed and embedded in the deepest recesses of our mind. And, finally one day, everything is out in the open and crystal clear.

 

And when, the truth dawns on us, we wonder “How does it really matter as long as I’m happy?”

 

And, lo and behold! All the mind blocks, all the misconceptions and all the misunderstandings take to their heels amid the bright glow of enlightenment; it is just like getting an update of your deepest understandings and beliefs, they are overwritten by a fresher concept and vision.

 

You see all those layers of convictions just falling apart to reveal to you that the misconceptions that you allowed to cloud your thoughts were just that.

 

The idea of proving yourself and earning the respect of your family, friends, and colleagues as a person who can is a vital ingredient to finding your deserving status in your community. Such is the ego of a person that everyone wishes to be adored, loved, admired and respected.

 

Becoming a leader is not easy; but much more difficult is earning the admiration and adulation of others is a prime motivation for one and all. But, it is more of an emotional requirement.

 

Like earning respect, we also have many other wishes and goals that we crave for and pursue; some seek coveted positions, others toil for riches and other materialistic possessions like a jet, a new car, a house, a promotion a piece of jewelry, there is no end to the list.

 

The world seems so attractive while you pursue your coveted goals but a question arises, sometimes, “WHAT THEN?”Yes, it is true you do feel the exhilaration that goes with achievement and victory but even that is not eternal. The facts are there for all of us to see; in this world, nothing is permanent.

 

So, just pause and think, are you really happy? Do things, people, place, positions make you happy? Yes, they do, invariably; but, for how long? There comes that vital question again in this race for possession of materials, of status and recognition.

I crave for a decade for something I wish to get, but the elation does not last long. Is that all that I was trying for? Happiness starts from within.  What does this ‘within’ mean to me; it’s my constant brutal honesty I aim for; the honesty towards myself.

 

I’m not a good liar generally but the irony is that I’m a great liar towards myself; I can make everything look like it is an amazingly lovely and positive world.  But, it may be dangerous sometimes as you can reach a state of heavy denial and not do the right things you are supposed to do without straying from your comfort zone.

 

It takes a lot of courage if you are very senior at something and then, all of a sudden, you wish to change and start at the beginning. In such a scenario you have to learn and practice to be humble all over again, start from scratch and do it constantly.

 

Only then can you be at ease if you no longer care what others think; because, what other people think does not really matter. What does matter is whether you can be of any use to this world.

 

If we are needed and we respond with a helpful and useful approach, we can then be at ease with ourselves too. If we can give, we can keep and cherish it too. And sometimes, feelings do not matter; it is the action that matters, the action that you take, the action you put out there and how you put it out there with what motives.

 

When you know that your aim in life is to be happy and spread the joy around to others, then, what is it that truly makes you happy?

 

If it is not the people, places and things around you, and if happiness comes from within, then how do I view the world and through what eyes do I want to see?

 

How far does my daring extend and how willing am I to take the next steps? Will I be able to muster up the courage and will I constantly let go and let live? Letting go of all the worries such as your finances, your family and thus aim to live a free life lovingly, with caring and responsibility.

 

Sometimes it may be hard to accept the truth and listen to our inner voice, but believe me, the inner voice is always the best one.  Even if you fail you win, even if you are sad you are happy, and even if you are tired, you are fresh; it does not matter because you are acting as per the dictates of your conscience, your inner voice.

 

And, you can confidently proceed with the dictates of your own inner voice; that is because both of you know what is best for you in that particular situation. And, believe me, you will know peace.0.

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